Hello, my name is Jack Sparrow. I'm a 50 year old self-employed Pirate from the Caribbean. 
Earlier this year, Hawaiian residents received a text—“BALLISTIC MISSILE THREAT INBOUND TO HAWAII”—wrongly signaling that a nuclear bomb might be headed their way. An employee reportedly mistook a drill for a real attack and sent the alert to all cell phones in the state. Today, U.S. senators introduced a new bill…
